Top 100 songs

1)      Jeff Buckley Ft Liz Fraser – All Flowers In Time

2)      Band of Horses –  Noones Gonna Love You

3)      Broken Social Scene – Lover’s Spit

4)      Tokyo Police Club – Nature of the Experiment

4a)     Marvin Gaye – Trouble Man

5)      Elbow – Powder Blue

6)      Jeff Buckley – Lover, You Should Have Come Over

7)      Jose Gonzalez – Heartbeats

8)      I Am Kloot – Same Deep Water as Me

9)      Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps

10)   Ray Lamontagne – Forever My Friend

11)   Jeff Buckley – Morning Theft

12)   Moloko – Familiar Feeling

13)   Lana Del Rey – Ride

14)   Feist – My Moon My Man

15)   Stephen Fretwell – New York

16)   Lykke Li – Little Bit

17)   Band of Skulls – Bruises

18)   Arctic Monkeys – 505

19)   Sufjan Stevens – To Be Alone With You

20)   Roisin Murphy – Let Me Know

21)   The Walkmen – The Rat

22)   Smashing Pumpkins – Disarm

23)   Fleetwood Mac – Landslide

24)   Jeff Buckley – Everybody Here Wants You

25)   Local Natives – Who Knows Who Cares

26)   The Doors – Touch Me

27)   Broken Social Scene – All to All

28)   Elbow – Mirrorball

29)   Sbtrkt – Hold On

30)   Donna Summer – McArthur Park

31)   Kings of Leon – Soft

32)   Arcade fire – Crown of Love

33)   Goldfrapp –Strict Machine

34)   Zero 7/Sia – Destiny

35)   Peter Gabriel – Solsbury Hill

36)   The Jesus and Mary Chain – Just Like Honey

37)   The White Stripes – Blue Orchid

38)   Gil Scott Heron and Jamie Xx – I’ll Take Care of You

39)   Joni Mitchell – River

40)   Bloc Party – So Here We Are

41)   Alt J – Something Good

42)   The Go! Team – Ladyflash

43)   Santogold – Lights Out

44)   Red House Painters – Katy Song

45)   Feist – Sealion

46)   CherryGhost – Dead Man’s Suit

47)   Stephen Fretwell – Bad Bad You, Bad Bad me

48)   Noah and The Whale – Blue Skies

49)   Bob Dylan – You’re a Big Girl Now

50)   The Shins – Caring is Creepy

51)   Cold War Kids – Hang me out to dry

52)   This Mortal Coil – Song to the Siren

53)   Placebo – Ask For Answers

54)   The Xx – Try

55)   The Editors – Munich

56)   Angus and Julia Stone – Old Friend

57)   Belle and Sebastian – If She Wants Me

58)   Band of Skulls – Wanderluster

59)   Kings of Leon – Milk

60)   Lykke Li – Time Flies

61)   Fleetwood Mac – You Make Loving Fun

62)   Modest Mouse –  Float On

63)   Underworld – Two Months Off

64)   Red House Painters – Have You Forgotten

65)   Scott Matthews – Elusive

66)   Blink 182 – I Miss You

67)   Bat for Lashes – What’s a Girl To Do

68)   The Strokes – Reptilia

69)   Frank Ocean – Novacane

70)   Death in Vegas – Aisha

71)   Goldfrapp – Black Cherry

72)   Rainbow Arabia – Holiday in Congo

73)   Ben Howard – The Fear

74)   Super Furry Animals – Juxtaposed with you

75)   Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip – Letter From God to Man

76)   The Sundays – Here’s Where the Story Ends

77)   Womack and Womack – Teardrops

78)   De La Soul – Eye Know

79)   Amy Winehouse – You Sent Me Flying

80)   They Might Be Giants – Birdhouse in Your Soul

81)   Sufjan Stevens – The Dress Looks Nice on You

82)   Turin Brakes – Rain City

83)   Woodkid – Iron

84)   The Vaccines – All In White

85)   Frou Frou – Let Go

86)   Ben Folds – Landed

87)   Blur – On The Way To The Club

88)   Massive Attack – Protection

89)   James Blake – Wilhelms Scream

90)   Radiohead – Everything In Its Right Place

91)   Daft Punk – Something About Us

92)   Radiohead – Talk Show Host

93)   Morcheeba – Sao Paolo

94)   The Cure – Boys Don’t Cry

95)   Dusty Springfield – Anyone Who Has a Heart

96)   Air – Kelly Watch The Stars

97)   Kate Bush – Babooshka

98)   Aimee Mann – Calling It Quits

99)   Jake Bugg – Broken

100) Mcalmont and Butler – Yes

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Online Dating Website Attempt 1

Online Dating Websites 1

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It’s All But One Big Fuck Circle

My first marriage ended and then I had a relationship with ‘Charlie’ until he horrifically devastated me.

Well, it felt horrific at the time.

Then I had relationships with some other people.

Lots of other people.

Then I got married again.

He left.

Then ‘Charlie’ came back and moved in.

Then he left again.

Well I kicked him out because he horrifically devastated me again. But only until I remembered that I wasn’t surprised….

And I’m about to start having relationships with some other people again.

It’s all but one big fuck circle.

So I’m a bit alone. I don’t do loneliness very well. I have a few options and I think I’ve finally decided which route to take.

Option 1) Just get on with life, whatever will be, will be.

Option 2) Internet Dating Websites – After two days of ‘fishing’ I’m feeling drowned and half eaten by tiger shark.

Option 3) Continue on the circle. Who comes next?

There is comfort in familiarity. I’m certainly less confident than I was during my last stint of dating (slutting it) and less free. I feel a bit vulnerable of having opened myself wholly to someone recently and been kicked pretty sharpish between the legs. It’s very desperately self indulgent of me to claim to be misunderstood by most but it’s true. The people on my previous travels mostly got where my head was at. Even if sometimes I didn’t. Even if they were a little baffled, there was still safety and security and trust. On reflection, I chose well because the folk involved were respectful and allowed me to be. Let me float in at short notice, take what I needed and then go. No judgement or damage control. Last time I went around my circle was seven years ago. Are the people still even single or interested? Would sex be different with them? I’m different now. More specific. Will they still provide me with an environment whereby I can do what I want?

Next on the circle was someone that made me feel really good about myself. Really good. He got me over ‘Charlie’ last time and he’s just accepted my friends request on Facebook. We lost touch a few years back. Catch up conversation was delightful and flirtatious and he’s single.

We may have unfinished business.

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Day 8

Myleene Klass has been dumped too.

She said her husband simply said he didn’t want to be married to her any more. SNAP.

She’s 34 and has children. I’m 35 and have children. The tabloids are calling her husband a rat. A RAT. Continue reading

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Day 7

I’m still too hurt and angry to attempt to explain how I feel, without wanting to punch the laptop screen. Why should I explain how I feel anyway? It’s pretty irrelevant.

It’s growing on me now, the idea of impending separation and divorce. Growing as in, getting larger and harder to ignore. Some practical things have been sorted out in my mind and I just need a couple more breaths and a bit of bravery before I put them into practice. Continue reading

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