My Eagle Vs Shark Relationship.

If you have seen the film, then great, you’re on board. If you haven’t yet found the time or even heard of the small New Zealand rom-com (2007), I suggest you hurry.

It’s a simple story with very few likeable characters and not a lot particularly happens. However it is both beautiful and genius.

Jim Ridley of the Village Voice “Napoleon Dynamite looks like Cary Grant next to the hero of this Kiwi quirk-a-thon: a hulking, sullen creep named Jarrod whose goony sulking, petulant selfishness and dweeby videogame obsession somehow work like Spanish fly on mousy burger-flipper Lily.”

Jermaine Clement of Flight Of The Conchords plays the male lead and is the reason I came across the film.  If I asked my husband to cuddle on the sofa on a Saturday night to watch Sex In The City 2 or Love Actually, he would crumple into a pile of dust at my feet. Anything to escape watching such drivel. But this film ticks all of the boxes.

It is realistic. It’s about proper love, not Hollywood love. Boys like it, as well as girls. It’s not mentally taxing, nor is it controversial. It’s not the kind of film that girls make boys watch in the hope it prompts a conversation of love, co-habiting, marriage or babies.

Eagle Vs Shark skirts around feelings and relationships and centres mainly on the female tagging along behind the male, in the hope he might just become her boyfriend. In turn, he treats her crappily.

Their scenes together are awkward and disjointed, the sex scene being truly abysmal, were you expect the female lead to go running for the hills, she doesn’t. Instead she lies contently, smiling, trying to hide her satisfaction that he has finally paid her some inadequate attention.

Without spoiling the film, you never quite are sure of his final feelings towards Lily, you are pretty sure that he loves her and pretty sure that he will never tell her. But then again, you could be wrong on both counts. The same as with my husband.

He has love issues. He struggles to convey his feelings without worrying he is being fake or cuntish. He doesn’t show me he loves me by spelling my name with rose petals or standing naked with a sandwich board professing his adoration opting to quietly care in the background. Love is stated adamantly during an argument or as a knee jerk reaction to my professions. I too can never be quite certain but I’m pretty sure he does love me.

He is my Jarrod and our love is clumsy.

About cuntychoppalops

Blunder cunt - An old school definition meaning one who takes a long time to accomplish an objective due to an easily distracted mind.
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