Mystery Blog Swap

THIS IS A GUEST POST

Julie from The Sardine Tin has put together a mystery blog swap. It’s a simple idea, and much fun. Read more here. Can you guess who today’s post is by?

5 Things That Piss Me Off!
I’m that way out today, and being of a generous nature, thought I’d share my mardy mood with you by telling you the top 5 things that really get on my wick!

1. Murder programs. Seriously, who would live in Midsomer? Surely after the first ten people got bumped off you’d be on the phone to the estate agent, selling up and getting the hell out of there. And Jessica, from Murder she wrote? You really wouldn’t want to be her friend, not even on Facebook. Anyone vaguely connected to her ends up dead or accused of murder. Does no-one else find it weird that she is never a suspect? Hmm

2. 0845 numbers for big companies. We know how much profit you make each year, it’s published. Stop being so tight and trump up for a free-phone number. Smaller companies manage, so why can’t you? Oh and “Your call is important to us….”. Really? Then don’t leave me on hold of 15 bloody minutes!

3. Inconsistencies. If you call a book “Nameless”, then it’s not nameless is it? it’s name is “Nameless”. Doh! And lone wolves…. wolves, meaning a pack of, plural of wolf. So they aren’t “lone” or “lonely” at all are they? In fact, they have a whole pack of friends who could join me in taking the piss out of stupid people’s contradictions.

4. Trolls online. Seriously, grow a pair. If you have something to say, say it, don’t spam it, start a blog and tell everyone about it. Or maybe your Mum doesn’t let you stay on the computer long enough to get it all written up?

5. Sizes. If I am an 18 in one shop, why am I a 22 in another. And never, ever, put XL on women’s clothing. It is just stupid. Clothes catalogues for people who are size 16 plus… your models are gorgeous, so why put them in shapeless floaty tents that make them look bigger. Jean designers, you can get “skinny” jeans in a size 29, so why if you have a fat arse and short legs, is it impossible to find jeans that don’t sport the “extra long crotch” look. Sort it out people, universal sizes, like with shoes please. It would make shopping online etc a hell of a lot easier!

Quite therapeutic, I feel much better now. Will go and eat cake to aid my full recovery J

About cuntychoppalops

Blunder cunt - An old school definition meaning one who takes a long time to accomplish an objective due to an easily distracted mind.
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