Bad Parenting #1

Daughter 2: Can I watch Saw?

Me: No.

Daughter 2: Why not?

Me: Because you’re 10.

Daughter 2: So. People at school have watched it.

Me: I don’t care.

Daughter 2: But you let me watch 18s!

Me: You’ve watched one 18 and I fast-forward through the bad bits.

Daughter 2: No you don’t.

Me: Yes I do.

Daughter 2: But why can’t I watch Saw?

Me: Because it’s not suitable.

Daughter 2: And Piranha 3D was?

Me: That wasn’t suitable either, hence fast forwarding.

Daughter 2: So why can’t you let me watch Saw and fast forward.

Me: Saw is different from a film about biting fish.

Daughter 2: Can I watch Insidious or Human Centipede.

Me: No

Daughter 2: But L*** at school has, so why can’t I? I know what they are about!

Me: What’s Human Centipede about then? *so frightened of reply*

Daughter 2: It’s about this man and these girls and their car gets broken and they go to his house and he sews their faces to each other’s bums.

*Speechless*

Daughter 2: You let me watch I Know What You Did Last Summer and Final Destination.

Me: They are 15s. You should be grateful I let you watch those.

Daughter 2: J*** at school has watched Chucky.

Me: He’s a sociopath.

Daughter 2: Everyone in my class has watched Chucky.

Me: Is it any wonder why I am always at school complaining about bullying and behaviour?

Daughter 2: So why can’t I watch Saw?

Me: Because it’s for grown-ups. It’s not a scary film, it’s just horrible, with loads of blood and nasty bits.

Daughter 2: All the shark and crocodile films we watch have loads of blood in them.

Me: But this is different. It’s stressful.

Daughter 2: So is going to Asda and you make me do that.

*leaves room*

About cuntychoppalops

Blunder cunt - An old school definition meaning one who takes a long time to accomplish an objective due to an easily distracted mind.
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