Not Female Friendly

Social networking is very much doing my head in.  I won’t be ostracised from public group conversations due to your wife’s/girlfriend’s insecurities.

My username for Twitter @CuntyChopalops I feel, is a pretty clear guide to the kind of content you will find in my tweets. It’s predominantly silly but with a fair bit of sexual content. I like talking about sex. I like having sex then telling people about  it. I like complaining when I am not having sex. I like talking about other people’s sex life. I like talking about stuff I like, stuff I don’t like, stuff other’s like and erm just anything sex based really.

Admittedly, I calmed down for a wee while as I was followed by someone from the real world. Although they understood when I explained, that they should probably ignore most of the stuff I tweet about, it’s still made me think twice before I type. I felt a bit watched too as it appears that someone else from the real world had seen me tweeting with the first person from the real world and wasn’t happy with something that was said between us. Anyway, I thought…fuck it, I shouldn’t change or self edit. If I showed the content of my tweets and blog to my true friends, they wouldn’t be too surprised. I do have to pick and choose my audience sometimes but I could say most of my Twitter content to my friends. I’d just have to put it fluffier. 140 characters doesn’t allow for fluff.

My husband and I follow each other on Twitter and always have done. The frequency of his tweets is currently at none existent but he reads his timeline probably more than I do. He will also use my Twitter account to nose at my timeline sometimes. Even though he doesn’t follow the same people as I do, I often talk about my people and like a soap opera, he likes to keep in the loop. Nothing I say on Twitter escapes him.

I also tend to be logged on Twitter in several different places. My phone, the communal iPads, his PC and laptop, my PC. My screen is open all over the show and if I’ve been on many of the various apps, whomever is using the PC next gets alerts to the DMs that come through  to my account. So DMs never go unnoticed either.

My point is, my husband knows what I say. He knows what is tongue in cheek and what is a genuine thought. He knows when I’m joking, when I’m over-sharing, what is true and what may be exaggerated. He knows I put photos of my ladybits or my hands in bondage cuffs on Twitter. He knows those photos exist because he took them for me on his phone, uploaded them, edited them and emailed them to me. He was the one who worked for weeks writing the code for my erotic website. He was the one who sat next to me storming ideas or proofreading shit.

My husband gets it. He may think I share too much every now and then or say that the day, I spent 8 hours tweeting was not the most productive but he doesn’t in any way, attempt to rein me in. I’m very lucky and I suppose until I started writing this, I didn’t appreciate fully how great it is that he doesn’t give me any shit over it all. Because I know a fair few of my followers are getting shit about Twitter. And some of it is related to me.

Imagine how pissed off I was when I realised that I could join in conversations in public with certain people because they would get in trouble with their ‘other half”s just for my username making an appearance. It’s not even the odd one or two people either. It’s closer to a dozen. As I only follow 130 people. It’s nearly 10% of the people I follow are not permitted to talk to me.

Self editing wasn’t the intention but I was a little thrown at first. Perhaps I was being disrespectful to men who weren’t single? When I did calm down over the past few months, I’ve had comments about my Twitter content being ‘boring’ and how I’m not making an effort with my tweets. Please note though, the people that made these comments are the very ones this post is aimed at.

I checked with a couple of women that I follow and asked if I was offensive. I also interact with their husbands too. No, they said. They don’t have issues with their husbands following me, talking to me or sending me DMs. They know the content of the DMs are of a similar nature to the DMs I send the wives. They don’t, in any way, feel threatened by me or  feel that I am being disrespectful or I’m wrong of any doing.

Does it depend on who I’m talking to? I guess so, but only because there are a few people on Twitter that I can really bounce with. They get more outrageous and so do I. The ones I am publicly super rude with, they are the ones that GET IT. They don’t DM me to try and continue the conversation or think because I’ve been talking to them about female ejaculation for the past 20 minutes that I’m inviting them to watch me masturbate on webcam.

So why should I change the way I tweet with people depending on their marital status. After all, it shouldn’t matter. It’s not relevant. I’m just being me.   I don’t know if some women have just looked over their boyfriend’s/husband’s shoulder and seen some of my ruder tweets and taken an instant dislike, but if they bothered to look at my timeline in general, they will see that I’m NOT singling out their beloved. He isn’t special in some way. My gobshiteness is pretty much consistent with everyone. It doesn’t seem to matter if those women use Twitter themselves or not. I’m just suddenly banned from joining in conversations in public with their men and can only sit and watch. Why those men in particular haven’t just unfollowed me for an easy life? They either chose to DM me instead, which is just a bit of a ballache if a conversation is public and I’m getting replies to in private from some people. Or they create other accounts to talk to me on. Not just specifically me, but yanno, people their girlfriend disapproves of.

So WAGs of Twitter men…He is now talking to me in private.

Something that I haven’t encouraged in any way but your man seems to think that hiding from you is better than getting grief. And now they are typing away at me in private, they seem to think that it is somehow now valid to try and sexualise EVERYTHING. Like we now have a secret safe place, hidden away. It somehow means more now. Special. Your man doesn’t realise that another 9% are also doing exactly the same thing to me. So we have gone from generic public rudeness to specific, personalised rudeness in secret. It’s kind of backfired on the WAGS and making Twitter into something I don’t want.

Hidden, things seem… seedy.

I don’t want seedy.

I’m openly a whorebag.

I jest, I’m not a whorebag. I’m very much monogamous to the husband that I adore. The husband that I talk about regularly on my blog and Twitter account. I’m not here to hide away in private to flirt. I’m here to engage in conversation with those that choose to follow me or allow me to follow them. Of course I use my DMs. I don’t really follow anyone I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending a direct message to, to ask about something, or share some gossip.  But I’m not here for cyber sex, flirting, hook-ups, to tell you what I’m wearing, to go on cam for you or to send you photographs.

Part of me wants to rampage a little and be even ruder to those men. To flirt like a motherfucker. Just to piss those moaning, insecure wives off a teeny bit more, in retaliation for making me a social network leper.  But I won’t. I don’t want your husbands or boyfriends. I’m very much happy with my own.

So please, if you’re getting hassle for talking to me or your missus doesn’t get my humour, then save yourself the trouble and unfollow. But please, don’t ignore me in public while hounded me with direct messages. You’re just getting on my tits.

About cuntychoppalops

Blunder cunt - An old school definition meaning one who takes a long time to accomplish an objective due to an easily distracted mind.
This entry was posted in Ranting. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Not Female Friendly

  1. Clifford says:

    Cyber sex is for wankers

    Look after yourself sugar tits

  2. Ralph says:

    Hi, I follow you on Twitter, and have for quite a long time. I very rarely say anything. My wife is fully aware; she has no problem; but then our relationship is rock solid. Any WAG who has an issue is most probably insecure and should look at their relationship and ask why they are so insecure. Many relationships are screwed by irrational jealousy. If you don’t trust you partner, why are you with them?!!!! Ralph

  3. Caroline says:

    Been there, done that, lost the friend…gained the friend back…lost the friend forever. Heartbroken.

    It’s a small world eh?
    I’d also know his comments anywhere…some things never change. Clearly you are the lucky one.

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